Just Thinking-Contemplating

Just Thinking

Got up on a cool morning. Leaned out a window.
No cloud, no wind. Air that flowers held
for awhile. Some dove somewhere.

Been on probation most of my life. And
the rest of my life been condemned. So these moments
count for a lot-- peace, you know.

Let the bucket of memory down into the well,
bring it up. Cool, cool minutes. No one
stirring, no plans. Just being there.

This is what the whole thing is about.

Contemplating

Waking up on that crisp, cool morning. I opened my front door.
Dew on the grass, clouds orange from the morning sun.
While the flowers are limp, from the cold night.

Been held back my whole time on earth. And
The rest of my time restricted. So I can't
Take moments for granted because they matter to me.
Peaceful--one might say.

Let the glass of thoughts down under the faucet,
And fill it up. Cold, ice cold time. Frozen
With nothing to do. Just present.

This is why I live my life...

Jamie Braddock
(Modeled after William Stafford's "Just Thinking")

Bus Four

I look around at my surroundings.
Walking through campus,
Snow is falling.
And the trees are swaying.
I get to my first destination.
Sitting there on that cold,
Old bench,
I am waiting for warmth and shelter.
As my second destination approaches,
I see a struggling old man to my right,
Now sitting with me on the bench.
Traveling with this man,
We're headed toward destination number three.
Awkward silence is broken,
When the man says, "Hello."
I respond with the same remark.
Finally at the last stop,
I begin to walk off bus four.
Before entering the cold winter air,
I look back at the man.
He says,
Goodbye...

Priorities

Same ol' me.
Just thinking,
About what's going to happen next.
What we do now
In the present,
Determines our future;
Good or bad.
Same ol' me.
Just thinking...
I'm sick of me,
Thinking constantly...
About you.
What's it for anyway?
I'm trying to lift the world
For you with my shoulders,
But it won't budge...
Same ol' me.
Just thinking...
Why should I make you
A priority in my life,
When I'm just an option in yours?
Am I wasting my time?
Only you and God know.
The same ol' me
Would wait for you,
Until you make up your mind...
Now,
I won't do that.
I can't.
Still the same ol' guy,
With the same ol' personality.
Something has changed though,
The search for that special someone;
Continues...

One Day

Sometimes I lay under the moon

And I thank God I'm breathin'

Then I pray don't take me soon'

Cause I am here for a reason

Sometimes in my tears I drown

But I never let it get me down

So when negativity surrounds

I know someday it'll all turn around because

All my life I been waitin' for

I been prayin' for, for the people to say

That we don't want to fight no more

They'll be no more wars

And our children will play, one day

It's not about win or lose 'cause we all lose

When they feed on the souls of the innocent blood

Drenched pavement keep on movin'

Though the waters stay ragin'

And in this life you may lose your way

It might drive you crazy

But don't let it phase you, no way

Sometimes in my tears I drown

But I never let it get me down

So when negativity surrounds

I know someday it'll all turn around because

All my life I been waitin' for

I been prayin' for, for the people to say

That we don't want to fight no more

They'll be no more wars

And our children will play, one day

One day this all will change

Treat people the same

Stop with the violence down with the hate

One day we'll all be free and proud

To be under the same sun

Singing songs of freedom like


I chose this song by Matisyahu because I find his music really easy to listen to. His lyrics in his songs speak to me in a poetic way. I enjoy most of his music, and he is very talented. This songs lyrics are all about being sad and down about something but not letting it get to you and overcoming your problems. This song relates to my life right now in a different kind of sad and depression. My favorite lyrics in the song are, " And in this life you may lose your way, it might drive you crazy, but don't let it phase you."

Alone

He feels empty with the life that surrounds him,

Tossing and turning endlessly.

Trapped in a world he wants to be a utopia,

But it's everything besides that.

The man feels headless,

Because he doesn't know what to think.

He views himself dead on the inside and out,

Looking for a way to escape his problems.

As the washer goes round and round,

It wears and washes down his emotions.

Spinning and spinning,

Without any sign of stopping.

He's trapped--

Forgotten...

Why do painters enjoy the thrill of paint?
I miss the Tuesday nights, hanging out with my father.
I'm not going to give up what I want, I'll stay strong.
My feelings and my thoughts are read on this paper.
As the sun rises, I love the sight of that sky...blue.
When we talk, I hear your voice like music.

Your voice symbolizes each sound, like notes of music.
How do you ruin a perfectly clean canvas? Paint.
I love looking into your eyes, and all I can see is blue.
One of the persons I look to the most is my father.
It's a damn shame that our nation revolves around green paper.
One of her best qualities is that she's independent and strong.

The legs she uses to pick herself up, they're weak, but strong.
As I turn the dial clockwise, the vibrations are in sync with the music.
The grocery stores are going green, no more asking, " Plastic or paper?"
The next art project requires either charcoal or paint.
I am the man I am today, because of my father.
The water is erie black, yet daytime comes, and it's blue.

As the shower pours out water, the pressure is warm and strong.
My favorite pair of jeans, comfy and fit, are denim blue.
The man upstairs looks over me, and I call him father.
Putting my headphones on, I listen to the sound of music.
Moving the brush side to side, I paint.
The money isn't there anymore, he ended our subscription to the paper.

To start the nice warm fire, I use old paper.
The flame reaching such a temperature, the base is blue.
I'm empty on the inside, and I would rather watch walls dry of paint.
I look back at our relationship, and I probably came on too strong.
As Lupe spits to his beat, he creates music.
I want to have kids when I'm older, and become a father.

Fifteen years from now, I look forward to the day of the fathers.
Hospitals are going with technology, no more paper.
Things that make me smile in life are necessary, like music.
I cheer for my team every week, wearing maze and blue.
The heroes of September 11th, qualify as army strong.
I now comprehend why painters enjoy the thrill of paint.

I look into my fathers eyes, and the gentle shade of blue.
I write the poetic thoughts on paper, my grip proper; strong.
The music my ears listen for, is often expressed with paint.

Something Else

The world moves with you.
Orbiting around the sun.
Please don't stop breathing...

Inside and Out

As a writer,
I write what I see and feel.
It is so hard to say those three words to you,
As I wonder what your response would be.
I love you.
When we talk, I listen to you.
When I make you smile,
I smile too.
Your beautiful face,
With those big blue eyes, and
Elegant brunette hair.
Take my breath away.
The simple presence of you,
Gives me life.
When we don't talk,
I think about you.
You are everything to me,
Inside and out.
When I see you,
My insides drop like I am on the biggest roller coaster.
The air in my lungs--absent.
All I can do is be patient for you,
Because without you in my life,
I am empty.
If things don't work out,
I'll just wonder why...
Those three words are so hard to say to you,
But I really do love you.

AoW Response

This weeks AoW was very controversal. It was a very interesting story to read and my heart goes out to Jordan Brown and his family. However, after reading this article, I found myself siding with the state prosecutors. All of the evidence was against Jordan whether you like it or not. He killed that woman who just happened to be pregnant, so I believe if your 11 years old you know right from wrong. Jordan knew that killing someone is the wrong thing, but he chose to do it. I would like to see Jordan tried as an adult, because he is a danger to society and justice needs to be served for the lives he took. On an economics side of this issue, if Jordan is sentenced to life in prison, I think prosecutors should just give him the death penalty. I say this because the average prisoner costs tax payers roughly $30,000 a year, so why not save a few million dollars and just end his life. We have to get out of this recession somehow and with a killer not in our world anymore is ok with me. Sounds harsh, but its the truth people.

A Special Memory

Sitting on the white stone fence,
The presence of two others that she loves is captured.
The warm spring breeze is noticed,
As the palm trees sway in the background.
Her hair messy and in her face,
Looking into the picture squinting,
As the sun blinds her vision.
Her brother, now gone,
Looking away from the old Kodak camera.
His memory lives on.
On an April 1969 afternoon,
She's living in the moment,
Without a clue of what her life will turn out to be.
Growing up in one of the most controversial times in American history,
Makes her the person she is today.
Such a relaxed,
Yet chaotic time.
This picture captures a memory she will never forget.
Sitting on the white stone fence,
With the precense of two loved ones...

Simplicity

As the sun sets below the earth's horizon,
I walk down the middle of the fairway with my father.
Smiling just because.
The golf course is my favorite place on earth...
Freshly cut grass,
Recently groomed bunker, and
The simple presence of my father.
As the sun sinks further and further into the bay,
The slight breeze becomes cool, crisp air.
Arriving at the green,
Where the most important part of the game arrives.
Putting.
Pulling the pin one last time,
To make room for the ball,
As it travels into its home.
Listening to the ball bang against the walls in the cup,
I'm smiling.
Putting the pin back where it belongs,
This night of golf is over.
Tomorrow is a new day, a new dawn,
And I hope to walk the fairways with my father.

I Am

I'm a good guy
I'm a funny guy
I'm a sensitive guy
I'm a thoughful guy
I'm an honest guy
I'm a green guy
I'm a golf guy
I'm a cheesy guy
I'm a Detroit guy
I'm a romantic guy
I'm a complicated guy
I'm a food guy
I'm a lazy guy
I'm an organized guy
I'm an observant guy
I'm a skoal guy
I'm an iphone guy
I'm a smoker guy
I'm a joker guy
I'm a midnight toker guy
I'm a NORMal guy
I'm an art guy
I'm a writing guy
I'm a college guy
I'm a practical guy
I'm a lost guy
I'm a confused guy
I'm a livestrong guy
I'm a music guy
I'm a family guy
I'm a best friend guy
I'm a modern guy
I'm a movie guy
I'm a good guy

Lost

I am sorry, but sometimes, you just don't want to be here anymore.
You're fed up with everything and everyone.
You feel lost in the world that surrounds you.
Life is just unfair.
You look at someone you love and see the future...
They look at you and see the past.
I shut my eyes in order to see.
You wonder what you're going to amount to in life.
Will it end well, or bad?
I am sorry, but sometimes, I don't want to be here anymore.
Life is unfair to me.
What should I do?
I can't fathom leaving my life.
I won't, I can't.
I find joy with the words that I write on this paper.
I find joy with the ones I love.
I am a happier person when I talk to her,
But at the same time she is the root to all of my sadness.
I am sorry, but sometimes, I just don't want to be here anymore.

My Golf Swing

As I line up to the ball,
I think about where I want it to go.
I back up to align myself,
I lick the tip of my index finger to feel the wind blow.
Pick the grass below my feet and tos it into the air that surrounds me.
Visualizing the ball landing exactly where I want it.
With my feet spread and my grip ready,
I take one last look at the green.
With my club now off the dewy grass,
I watch the water splash off my club in my peripheral vision.
I think about keeping my head still,
Staying parallel,
And letting the clubface do the work.
Two seconds later the ball is airbourne and toward the green.
As I finish my follow through,
I watch the ball as it travels through the windy air.
When the ball makes a divot on the green,
I'm satisfied.
I proceed with this thought process seventy-eight more times...

Grandpa Hank

I remember my grandpa Hank.
I remember sitting on the coach eating toast with him.
I remember watching Jeopardy every night.
I remember listening to his WWII stories and picturing
His honor and glory.
I remember looking up in the stands and seeing a friendly face.
I remember he was so proud of me after stealing a base.
I remember his prayer before every supper.
I remember him getting older--slower.
I remember coming home from school one day.
I remember April 26th, 2005 like it was yesterday.
I remember him taking his last breath in my arms.
I remember my grandpa Hank.